it feels like somebody….
waNTS TO SELL ME SOMETHING
i told you he was onto us
|—||midnight thoughts (via somebodytoloves)|
say “oh my god look at the blood on her pants” in a crowded hall & the girls who turn around are the ones on their period
alright satan lets take it down a notch sweetie
Says tumblr user niggercakes
A box of baby bengals
"What? No, I’m sorry, I ordered half a dozen mini bagels —”
"Shut up, we’re keeping them."
I just accidentally broke my owl by dropkicking it down the stairs but its ok because i fixed him
i feel like “accident” and “dropkicking it down the stairs” don’t belong in the same sentence
Put my son to sleep in his new onesie, woke up to a bear raiding my drawers.